W.I.P.

Realisation Hits Hard

Wednesday, 4 June 2025 (9:28 pm)

Realisation comes by when you least expect and hits you like a truck in a good sense for it encourages reflection.

I have been wondering about things and what’s wrong with my life when I realised during the ‘Isha prayers that many groups of people from total strangers to friend to family members have already answered my queries without me asking or telling or hinting or implying. There have been tons of such instances but I will list some recent ones that I managed to recall and the one which I will remember for my entire life down below. Such examples include:

1. My best friend, mind you that he who is a non-Muslim as of writing this, telling me he hasn’t been seeing me reading the Qur’an lately telling me that I haven’t been reciting the Qur’an while we were walking back to the coyline office after our night walk around the camp. This is the biggest realisation and proof, and it caused me to reflect deeply even until today. I indeed haven’t been reading the Qur’an due to the workload. But is it really? Because even at home after I ORD’ed I haven’t been reading the Qur’an daily. Maybe the root of the problem is because I am lazy and chose to delay completing my tasks. Time for me to reflect upon my mistakes and shortcomings.
2. YouTube recommended me videos of study and intellectual activity insights from various channels (non-Muslims, Muslims, and even local YouTubers which fits more to Singapore context and closer to my heart as it is more relatable).
3. YouTube videos of tips on how to not feel sleepy every day. I have been feeling endlessly tired every day ever since I ORD’ed on 14 May 2025. Reason: inactive body leads to a tired and depressing soul. This has been attested in multiple occasions by other individuals; I’m referring especially to the AsapSCIENCE YouTube video on “Why You’re Always Tired” where I then realised one of my big mistakes.
4. Nenek advising me before we went to pray ‘Isha to go do some jogging around the estate in the mornings. This relates to point number 3 and happened on the same day. It cannot be a mere coincidence; rather it is a message from the divine Heavens. How can I choose to ignore Allah after this moment for He never abandons His servants?

Allah has given me the answers which bothered me right in front of my face yet I seemed to overlook past it and wasted my effort finding futile solutions all this time. For several of these problems that I am facing, I didn’t explicitly ask from Allah yet He gave me the answers to the questions which I am in dire need for. Alhamdulillah, that’s the beauty of faith where everything is interconnected and leads eventually to Allah the One the Irresistible.

Now to tackle one last problem – that is my own desires and ego. The answers have been given but it’s up to me whether to implement it or choose to ignore the advices given. Laziness comes from the devils so dispose of it immediately. Asking from Allah is not enough for you must put in effort and never lose trust in Him. That is one of the definitions of Islam which is to submit willingly to Allah and His Messenger.

I am constantly in a battle between me and myself. I observed that it’s always conflicts between my heart and mind and desires. These 3 “elements” are at a stalemate for there is no sign of victories for either “element” as of now. The most dangerous of them all in my opinion is my desires where it is the hotspot for the devils to entice me to do something evil and corrupt and who prefers inactivity. Each day these “elements” will shift making me a human. But why would I want to be an average joe? I have the ability to be better than the rest and at the same time, pull those around me up together so civilisation can prevail. Note that the rulers and society will only reach its peak utopia if and only if (iff, hehehehe) it starts with the individual that is I. Don’t expect an improvement in the society if I did not do anything to cause it to change. I can choose to write all these yet if I don’t choose to share, it’s as good as not writing this at all. You see the solution now? It is as clear as day.